Sometimes

SOMETIMES

Sometimes
if you move carefully
through the forest,

breathing
like the ones
in the old stories,

who could cross
a shimmering bed of leaves
without a sound,

you come
to a place
whose only task

is to trouble you
with tiny
but frightening requests,

conceived out of nowhere
but in this place
beginning to lead everywhere.

Requests to stop what
you are doing right now,
and

to stop what you
are becoming
while you do it,

questions
that can make
or unmake
a life,

questions
that have patiently
waited for you,

questions
that have no right
to go away.

– David Whyte
from “Everything is Waiting for You” & “River Flow: New & Selected Poems”
©2003 Many Rivers Press

Truth

It takes courage and strength to stand in truth. If we don’t practice with the small truths how can we get stronger for the big Truths? I am so grateful to have acknowledgement that EVERY voice deserves to be heard. Thank you to everyone who supported me in that. The TRUTH really does set us free and TRUTH at the Community level is even more potent!

What does it say about our society that when a man is “friend zoned” – it is somehow equated with him being less of a man?

Humility

Humility is very powerful friends. Intense morning – (re)activated patterns. When we move on and try to carry the pain with us – it creates a vengeful energy, need to be “right”, to prove, to show – that the cause of the pain wasn’t true. We pray, “oh God, don’t let them/him/her be right, it hurts too much” These are the dynamics that try to bring the “old” into the “new”, keep us trapped in old patterns and set up the perfect conditions for us to be humbled. The choice is… Do you want LIFE to humble you the hard way or, will you stay with the pain and cut through it with a humble and vulnerable presence… and rise…. from the ashes of needing to prove: society wrong, the bullies wrong, your family wrong? I know my answer…what’s yours? With grace and ease… I rise – knowing that I AM LOVE

We cannot “get men to fight for women’s rights” without first helping them realize their own oppression. Any effort outside of this is mis-informed -Mirona Constantinescu

We cannot realize another’s oppression without first realizing our own. We don’t have the motivation to “fight for” another’s liberation until we fight for our own. Context: Sexism/Racism

Offering support

One of my favorite things to do is surprise people with willingness to help and support. To offer help in an area where I know the person needs support and has a hard time asking for it. What stops me at times are 2 things

1. Being afraid that they will then EXPECT that of me all the time and I will be over-committed.I can give more when I release myself from the pressure of that expectation and give myself the right to say ‘No’ at anytime after that. I wonder if this holds other people back from giving sometimes too?

2. When I offer that level of support I also have to let go that helping people freely when they need it doesn’t guarantee they will be there when YOU need it. So I do as much as I can until I feel a resistance within myself. I often reflect how many people have their cause they want support on but how we also want support on our stuff. It’s truly an art that I am still mastering.

When was the last time you surprised someone with your willingness? Without asking to be paid for ‘coaching’ or your ‘webinar series’? Today – see if you can put your concerns of not being reciprocated and let go of the fear that you will become over-committed aside for 5 minutes. Take 5 minutes to give even just 1 honest opinion/feedback – admit that thing that you haven’t wanted to admit, say that thing that is rolling around in the back of your mind or heart.

To illustrate: I was recently approached online from someone I don’t know to go on a date. After a little chit chat I could feel that he was so lonely. Instead of being turned-off or pushing him away with some retort I just wrote “Why are you so lonely?” He was surprised but delighted because indeed this was true. Playfully he writes “Who asks people that the first time they talk?” I said, “The question is: who has time to waste?… that should be the norm – not pretending we don’t sense things.” From that place we could have a more meaningful conversation

Of course there is always the risk of being inaccurate in what we sense – but that’s the risk of authenticity – the unwillingness to live life on the surface any longer.

Give

Do you try to give to people that don’t give back to you and then ignore the people that do want to share with you? yea… me too! It’s called codependency and it’s ok! just sayin… I notice I do this and I’m like “WHY!?” – but… I have gotten much much better since I’ve started “Going (giving) where it flows” -if you find yourself stuck… hear me saying: “Give where it flows baby” – people that want to regenerate/reciprocate and flow WITH you. The thing is…. when we make someone’s ability to reciprocate or receive from us mean something about us (I’m unlovable, I’m not good enough.. blah blah) that’s when we get hooked! And then we try to change them – but really we don’t want to change them, we just don’t want it to mean what we think it means about us… 🙂 So:

1. QTIP – Quit Taking It Personally , the person’s ability means nothing about you

2. Just feel your own feeling – remember just because someone abandons you doesn’t mean you have to abandon yourself. Someone may not be able to be as present with you as you would like, the moment you notice yourself feeling bad about it, just give yourself a big hug and affirm you are still there with YOU and then it’s easier to let go and accept what the other person is willing/able to receive.

3. Notice when you get attached to the outcome or feel resentful or angry – this means your cup is runnin’ low honey! Go fill up – laugh, dance, play banjo- whatever you need to do to fill your cup… (but not with addictions) -sometimes, it’s just … letting go of trying.. and- “Give where it flows”

4. Remember, it’s a GIFT when you ALLOW someone to GIVE to you
Then … RECEIVE… work in progress. Have a fantastic day =)