Solutions

It’s easy to point out problems, almost anyone can see what is broken in our world. I’m tired of seeing messages for people
to “wake up” and “see the system.” How about offering Comprehensive, Scalable, Sustainable Solutions… ?

Relational Practices

Intersubjectivity

Inter-subjective Nexus, relational field, we space, awakened inter-subjective field, waking down.. I’m currently seeking a practice group for inter-subjective meditation. ‘Mutual Awakening’ goes by many different names – most of them from Integral theory. Here are a few:

Inter-subjective Nexus

Awakened Inter-subjective Field

Circling

Authentic Relating Games

Waking Down

Thomas Huebl – Transparent Communication and the Awakened WE

Relational Practices

These all have a different feel but sort of point to the same phenomena, the potency of inter-subjective awakening and co-creation. A feedback loop of awakening. Any of these would be a wonderful place to start.

social value

Unspoken Social Rule of the Day: I realized that I am very generous with praise ,compliments, and recognition – this often leads people to undervalue my gestures in this regard. It’s an unfortunate realization that it’s likely the people that give whole-heartedly frequently go unnoticed and unrecognized themselves. It’s also unfortunate that people who give just enough to be recognized and in demand  – but not more than that, are appreciated for that quality. Instead of blaming people that don’t understand or see the value of what I offer, I need to accept the reality of this diminishing law of returns. It’s like trying to give someone food when they are full – they won’t want it, they don’t crave, desire or appreciate it. This is a subtle rule that socially cunning people often understand but nobody talks about. It makes me realize, out of necessity, I need to give less to more places. If I want my generosity of words, thoughts, and deeds to be valued I need to give less to more places/people. Perhaps volunteering in different places.

Lean Startup Machine

I took the LSM weekend to learn lean methodology and how I could better test my ideas and start-up with minimal cost !

Here are my key takeaways and insights:

1. A startup is a temporary organization designed to search for a repeatable and scaleable model

Woah!  I had never heard about a start-up operating or being any different from any other company. But it makes a lot of sense to approach it differently. Just like a person would plant a seed or seedling – these infant plants need extra special care and optimal conditions to grow. Later, when the seedling has matured, the plant doesn’t need as sensitive of care. It can weather climate and condition fluctuation better!

2.  Don’t raise money – raise traction

3. The only way to beat the competition is to stop trying to beat the competition

4. People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.

5. Define the ONE Metric that shows you your company is successful

6. Solve individual problems, not social or general problems (a key one for social entrepreneurs!)

3 Keys to Overcoming Anxiety

I used to suffer from severe social anxiety and panic attacks and have invested hundreds of hours into healing and finding various hacks to regain control of my life.

These have been the most helpful techniques I have used to recenter and remember that I am not that fleeting feeling.

1. Just because my heart is beating fast doesn’t mean my mind has to. Anxiety is really the fear of being afraid. When I had severe panic attacks and agoraphobia, I would feel my heart start to beat fast and my breath shorten, I would start spiraling out of control afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stop what was happening. After I had been practicing mindfulness for sometime I could notice the feeling coming on and deeply feel my heart beating yet still notice my thoughts didn’t have to start racing with the rhythm of my heart. This gives me some perspective and feeling of safety. This isn’t dissassociating, this is just watching. Mentally, I thank  my heart for beating and sending blood throughout my body.

2. Ask what are you telling yourself? Are you telling yourself frightening thoughts? Are you telling yourself that something in your life is a disaster or won’t work out the way you want it to? This technique really helps to become aware of the thoughts going on that could be triggering the anxious feelings. If I am aware of the thoughts this is effective. I use technique #1 when I am not aware of what thought I had that resulted in the physical reaction.

3. This technique is the MOST helpful and typically just melts away the fear. I mentally tell myself,  “I have this anxiety because I care about people so much and want their love and attention”  this has the effect of melting the fear and  exposing it for what it really is- love and caring. If you look deeply you will realize this is the source.

You won’t hear these techniques written/spoken about because they are from different sources and deep insights I have had of the way my mind works and how my body and mind interact.

Welcome 2013!

What an incredible year 2012  has been for me. I did more in 2012 than in the last 3 years combined. My top 10 list of photo (1)experiences for 2012:

1. Moved out of my place with a roommate in University Heights to Bankers Hill was the best thing I could have done for myself. That was a toxic living situation and I am so much happier with my own space!!

2. Started P90X – I got the dvd set copied from a friend. I never knew the relief that a consistent exercise/nutrition plan could bring! I was delighted to find that my 3 PM munchies were staved off with a consistent eating schedule.All of that negative self talk about not having any willpower was unnecessary, my body was just hungry! I set my alarm to alert me to eat every 3 hours. 

I felt an elated sense of mastery and efficacy. I lost 15 pounds and gained muscle mass. I loved every moment running to Balboa Park.

3. Got involved in the San Diego Entrepreneur community. Attended Start-Up America San Diego and helped to produce SD Entrepreneur Day. Helped at SD Quick Pitch

4. Helped to organized TEDxAFC event

5. Teen girls mentor for Jenna Druck center

6. Unstoppable Entrepreneur event

7. Attended Women’s Institute of Negotiation ‘Boot Camp’ 

8. Created my site ‘Bridge to Bohemia’

9. Started being more visible

10. Was a juror on a 4 month trial. Was a very intense experience. 

Adyashanti

In December Adyashanti held a community Satsang to answer questions about spiritual growth. 

Freedom is what we are. Reality is seeing what is.

These are my highlights/memorable words.

We are “held captive by our commitments to the world”

– by thought, mind, emotion, and belief systems

Our ideas of the way things “should be” control us.

When our demands are not fulfilled we withdraw from life, we have anxiety.

We have addiction to power and acquisition and the biggest addiction is to “how we see ourselves”

We must STOP – stop without reason and “turn around all at once” knowing that nothing else worked – we must “turn around” and face all of these things inside of us.

Meditation is so powerful because “silence threatens to take belief and stories from us”

The guided meditation was really beautiful. With the breath, we imagined with each exhale we were dropping part of the ego into that vibrant nothingness and on the inhale putting a part of that back in us.

Servant Leadership

“Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It’s not oversharing, it’s not purging, it’s not indiscriminate disclosure.  Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.”

Leadership is about empowering others. When the best leader’s work is done, people will say: we did it ourselves. (Lao Tzu)

Your greatest success comes when others around you benefit so much from your presence that they not only succeed beyond where you are, but may not even realize the role you played in their success — nor do you tell them.

 In developing the skills of servant leadership I constantly keep people in mind and pass on opportunities or ideas that can help them, I practice authenticity, I tell people the truth even if it is hard for them to hear and focus on allowing relationships to change form if that is what needs to happen while keeping in mind that the most important factor is that I am a positive influence in that person’s life. Recently I’ve run into a roadblock, I’m feeling too porous – giving too much.

Now I understand I need to be more discerning who I open myself to.

To be human is to make meaning out of meaninglessness

ImageThe only real choice we have is the meaning we give events in our lives

I wrote earlier:

1. Powerlessness is the worst feeling someone can feel

I can now with a little bit of confidence add the following 2 as the other painful feelings in life.

2. The inability to realize that it is we who decide the meaning of things that happen to us

3. Inability to decide a “constructive” (life giving) meaning after tragedy because it conflicts with our preexisting world view.

I spoke with the mother of one of the victims after the trial and truly the most painful thing was, not the grief and loss but the ongoing meaninglessness of it all. The  literal fabric of her life shaken so drastically to pieces… it takes strength to live with contradiction and then even more strength to become congruent. Up through the fertile stench of society… Life… finds a way.