Focus on YOU

Focusing on him and his emotions – it’s insidious. It’s amazing how I thought I had healed but the same pattern is popping up again. We emailed back and forth – he is very responsive –  but still my mind “why isn’t he texting?” “he doesn’t like me as much anymore” “I pushed him away” “I’m too much” “I’m too needy” – This constant focus on him and his needs – this is a major issue for women. Why is it so difficult for us to keep the focus on ourselves?? Instead of wondering why isn’t he texting/calling  – the other options

1. Set a standard: Tell him I need his contact more often (but this would be putting more pressure on him which I don’t want to do)

2. Be proactive: Call or Text Him – If this were genuine this would require me to know and be in my feelings – this would require me to feel good enough from the inside out where I have a moment of joy and inspiration and can think about someone else besides my worry for just a moment!

3. Gratitude: Focus on what is good between us –

What is this constant habit of what he is doing or not doing!?? IS this a problem all women face? What are some other antidotes?

Singer/songwriter Portia Nelson, illustrating the difficulty of making changes.
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street
.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in.
It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street
.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

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