I’m in the early stages of falling in love…
One thing I have learned for really important relationships is that I want to set a good dynamic early on, show them I have respect and standards for myself, and also give them the thrill of the chase! Precisely because I am so gaga and he is falling for me too that practicing self-control is importqant
The problem is I’m finding myself being hypervigilant and trying to control – I’m wanting to know why he feels so strongly? What is it that I’m doing for him? I want to know what I fulfill so that I can be sure his feelings won’t change and I can always FEEL SAFE and know where I stand.
I find my mind trying to read what he is feeling instead of just focusing on what I am feeling. I find myself worried can I provide what he needs; am I really the woman he sees me as!? He has set this standard and maybe I’m afraid I can’t fulfill. I monitor each time I say ‘No’ to something and then give in – I hold myself accountable for this. I judge myself as weak because of it. No to sex, no to not wanting food, no to whatever. I believe this lowers his perception of me – but this is just a belief.
My girlfriend warned that can come across as insecurity.